Ice and Wonder

Last winter was a deluge of snow--over 130 inches. This winter, the rivers remain partially open. The days seem predominantly gray. The snow is not very snow-shoeable (my word). My insomnia has returned. It makes me wonder if my brain is panicking at the idea of a four-month mud season. In an attempt to turn things around, I got the camera and went looking for spots to inspire me. As I was about to turn toward my usual haunts, I noticed the ragged river ice and changed my destination. 

Look at these blocks!

The blue-grays were lovely and soothing. I continued shooting and forgot that the day was gray and I was tired (or just uninspired). Does anyone know what leads most of these breaks to be in such straight lines? Only the blocks that had frozen to the rough edge of the riverbank were not linear. I'm sure a physicist or geologist could explain this phenomenon. There are also bubbles of trapped air, like a celebratory flute of champagne. 

It was a wonder. 

Once again, grabbing my camera and getting outside was the answer. I lose all sense of time and paid no notice to the damp, gray air. As I turned to leave, some color appeared in the western sky.

I jumped into the car and zipped to a spot where some of the sunset might appear below the clouds. 

It seemed I was going to miss the finale, but I had hope!

Well, I caught the last wee-bit of it. Worth the chase.

It was so still, I could almost hear the sun closing the door on the day. 

The Softness of Snow

It's the new year. I feel like it has just drifted in, like the snow that fell so softly today. This is an election year. Without getting all up into the political storm, the ugliness of it can really be a bummer. The fact that fear is used as a tool to influence voting is--just low. I look forward to the day when we can stop talking at each other and instead work with each other. I look forward to people not needing absolute beliefs to cling to for a sense of security. I look forward to people softening, instead of getting all rigid. 

Softness is not weak. Softness is strength. It is the ability to absorb impacts and injuries and to bounce back. It is the ability to be bravely vulnerable. It is honest. It is resilient. 

How do I know this? 

People who are able to relax their bodies in a car crash or during a fall are less likely to be severely or fatally injured. When you catch a ball coming at you hard, if you soften your hands and arms, and allow them to go with the momentum of the ball at contact, it's more likely you will hang onto the ball.

Growing up in Nebraska, where the incessant winds and wild weather make it hard for most trees to survive, I saw that flexibility was a life saver. The cottonwood trees swayed from side-to-side, or around in a circle, during the gusts. They rarely broke. They lived a long time. They could handle whatever mother nature dished out. They were able to "give way" to forces. That ability to give made them strong.

Rigidity is born out of fear. When I catch myself being rigid, judgmental, or deaf to another person's perspective, I am usually operating out of fear--fear of change, of being "wrong", of the unknown. 

Buddhists talk about softening to the experiences of life.

"We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder. We always have the choice."  The Dalai Lama

I walked in today's softly falling snow, with it's blurred distances, and was reminded that this is what brings peace and contentment. This is what I aim for. This is what we humans need so much more of--softness. This, is what I choose.

Holidays

Whatever holiday you celebrate, or don't, this time of year is noteworthy. For some, it is actually difficult and I am sending out a wave of compassion for them. For many, it is a time for family and friends (the former can make it difficult--but hopefully for most it is joyful). Given my husband lost his father this past month, the family part of this season is the one we are focusing on. So, off to Boston we go to spend a few days with his sister and her family. 

It is crazy, warm outside. Odd and a bit disconcerting. Check out this picture, taken on the road and when it was 71 degrees fahrenheit! 

That haze is fog from the nearby sea, which was colder than the air. 

I decided to make a pile of cookies to bring. One of my favorite things about the holidays are cookies--sugar, thumbprint, molasses with chocolates in the middle, spritz, and Namiamo bars. My mom made these great pecan cookies with a chocolate glaze that were YUMMY. A house smelling of sugar, buttter, and chocolate is also a trigger for soothing memories. My sugar/butter addiction is longstanding. The holidays are an excuse to indulge!

In my haste to get things done for our trip, I forgot to take pictures. I have a few, but none of the completed cookies. Ugh. So, I will post recipe links (because I just am a copy-cat who sometimes mixes it up). 

I made the chocolate biscuit part of these, with a raspberry buttercream frosting filling (I tend to just use one tablespoon of rice milk instead of the three of heavy cream) . Feel free to use Molly's chocolate malted filling--I can attest to the fact that it's delicious. I was just trying to keep a little holiday color in the cookies. And, yes, I dipped the chocolate biscuits in chocolate glaze. Because nothing is really too sweet or chocolaty for me. Change as you must ; )  

I made namiano bars. But, because the recipe makes super thick and rich bars, I spread mine out over an 8 x 11 pan I had. (Scratch what I said previously, some things can be a bit too much.) Experiment, maybe just use less of the layers and keep the 8x8 pan size the same. Trust me, these are rich, rich, rich so a little thinner layer is actually better. Here's a quote from the recipe on Food 52: "You have been warned about these: nanaimo bars are not messing around or for the faint of heart." They are no-bake, so super easy and fast. Absolutely follow the recommendation to score the bars about 10 minutes after the chocolate topping has hardened. It helps make the cuts neat when ready to serve.

Lastly, I made some Viennese Whirls with a cranberry buttercream filling. I used this recipe for the cookie. However, I didn't have creme fraiche (too freaking expensive and I didn't want to try to make my own days ahead). I did, however, have some mascarpone on hand (while still a bit pricey, it is way cheaper than creme fraiche, at my store anyway. I used JUST a tablespoon, not three as the recipe calls for because--well, I just didn't want that to be the overwhelming taste). For the cranberry frosting, I first made some cranberry preserve-like mixture with the recipe from these. I had frozen cranberries left from Thanksgiving, and I like the idea of getting that fruit into a sweet at this time of year. I used the same amount of the cranberry mixture as I did raspberry preserve in the previous recipe (above). I omitted creme fraiche/mascarpone from this. Just didn't want it.  Here are the few pics I snapped of the making of these:

As you can see, I am completely NOVICE at piping dough. I followed LadyandPups directions. I flipped the parchment over and traced circles with a pen, then flipped it back. It helped to have that pattern to fill. I also made smaller cookies, so I used a Mexican Peso to trace--you use what you're comfortable with. Here's what I learned: don't fill the piping bag very full, just add as you go. The dough will become softer with the warmth of your hand on the bag and therefore easier to pipe. Use a larger piping tip. I found that it helped to hold the tip above the circle I was going to fill, squeeze and when the dough came close to the edges of the circle, I rotated the bag 90 degrees to get a "swirl". THIS WAS NOT THE TECHNIQUE USED IN THE RIGHT-HAND PICTURE.However, I highly recommend Googling techniques and figuring out what works best for you. 

I realize that this last cookie's description is a muddled mess. However, that's due to my inexperience. It is, however, proof that inexperience doesn't matter. As long as you are open to "playing" with baking and not wanting perfection, you will enjoy it. It's a good metaphor for life. Don't take it too seriously. The joy is in the creative process. 

They tasted great, by the way.